10 Haikus VIII

The Previous 10

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I see clearly now
you were, you are, you will be
all I ever want

With a lamp for sight
I write deep into the night
small fragments of life

in the grassy fields
I walk barefoot, like others
feeling connected.

Newbie stargazer
look back into history
are they still there now?

Order in chaos
hidden patterns in nature
elegantly done

minutes and hours,
artificial constructs, fake,
nothing captures time

see that ball of fire
that drops below horizon
rise forth tomorrow

I make them with ink
write them on scraps of paper
beautiful nothings.

Immovable rock
meets irresistible force
something has to give

we take different paths
the goal is always the same
so live and let live

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The next 10

Usual disclaimer applies

10 Haikus VII

The previous 10

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expect fireworks
when two pure forces collide
and put on a show

what is poetry
but the statement of deep truths
we know, yet we don't?

light up the darkness
with the gifting of a smile
no more is needed

in honour of him,
who served his people with heart,
led by example

In the longer days
And the blooming of flowers,
spring is here, for sure.

Refined, reordered,
surely only so many
ways, to say something?

Shadows flickering
switching between black and light
in response to flame

I wrote a letter
and poured my heart into it
yet never sent it

You will have found me
In a place with soft lighting
and a book in hand

In the darkest night
I seek to do what is right
hide all before light

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The next 10

Usual disclaimer applies.

A system to be used for the means of determining the correct course of action regarding non-Arsenal teams

Time for a less serious topic, hence the title.

I had a simple discussion with a friend on this topic a few days ago, and have decided to make a longer, more detailed post in explanation of my weird and wonderful system which allows me to (nearly) always know which team to support.

It goes like this (brace yourself).

Rule #1: Support Arsenal (obviously).
Rule #2: In the event of Arsenal not playing, use the three sub-rules formulated below to determine who to support. They will interplay with each other, so sometimes credence will be given more to one factor than another, though, all things being equal, they are listed in the order of priority.

Sub-rule #1: Account for the tribal nature of football - where the enemy of your enemy is your friend, ad infinitum
Sub-rule #2: Give primacy to beautiful, attacking, technical football over dull, defensive football
Sub-rule #3: Support the underdog.

The tribal rule gives me an immediate list of teams I back, and teams I don't.

Obvious "enemies":

United
Chelsea
Sp*rs

NB: United play attacking football, so are not disliked as much.

Immediate rivals of said "enemies", who thus become "friends"

Dislike United, support City (not as much now that they're Chelsea mk II)
Dislike Chelsea, support Fulham
Dislike United and Chelsea, support Liverpool.
Dislike Sp*rs, support any team playing against them.

A few more permutations (though with each successive cycle, the feeling becomes weaker, as they get further and further away from my beloved):

Support Liverpool, dislike Everton (unless playing United/Chelsea/Spurs).
Dislike Chelsea, support Barca (also ties in with the beautiful football part)
Support Barca, dislike Real Madrid (also because they don't play good football, and throw money at their problems)
Dislike Real Madrid, support Athletico Madrid, Valencia.
Dislike Real Madrid, support Lyon (also cause Lyon have the best European kit - black with red and blue trim - just stunning)
Support Liverpool, dislike AC Milan.
Dislike AC Milan, support Inter.

That's normally as far as I go. Going by this, the teams I'd back when Arsenal are not playing are (in rough order):

- Barcelona
- Inter
- Lyon
- Valencia
- Liverpool (first and only English side on the list)

and teams I'm always inclined not to support:

- United*
- Chelsea
- Sp*rs
- Real Madrid

*Again - not as much, because they play attacking football.

I use the other two rules to determine how to support other teams, as well as who to support when "my other teams" play each other.

I think that's it - I use a watered down system for International matches, but that's another post.

Messed up

I made this chart out of an idea which came to me some time ago:



Without even trying I can see tons of ways in which we humans are divided. And that's without going into the even more fragmented natures of Christianity and Judaism, and just sticking to a cross section of religion. I am sure I would run out of space if I had to include political, philosophic, economic, racial, and geographic discriminants, as well as every religion in existence. I keep on dividing and subdividing to see if perhaps maybe once we can divide no further, we will stop causing each other problems - but no. People of the same religion, of the same sect within the religion, of the same subsect, who one would assume are more united on theological issues, will still find a way to keep themselves apart. I speak of my own experience, yet assume the same would hold true if one were to follow a different branch on the tree.

Yeah, we're messed up. Muslims especially. That quote always rings true - "Islam is the best religion, yet Muslims are the worst followers". That religion, that has the best of role models, that values piety above all else, that enjoins brotherhood between people, that states we are all equal before the Lord, is now well on its way to being split into 73 sects, as prophesied in the famous hadith.

Perhaps now, more than ever, as the world fragments more and more, we need (and by "we", I mean "me") to pay heed to Imam Ali's (AS) famous statement :

A Person is Either your Brother in Faith or Your Equal in Humanity

Such brevity, such eloquence. And so true.

...

He was flying on the wings of a dream
Higher than all, or so it had seemed
Yet whispers do what they always do best
Urging one to complacence and rest
They shouldn't have worked, but he had pride
and so fell off his most heavenly ride
The fall was needed to set him aright
With nobody else to blame for his plight
human nature to blame, just like a game
look in the mirror, for someone to shame
Yet all is not lost, it never is so
though it will take time before he glows
longer still before he again takes flight
as dizzying fall helps reset his sight
Now he soars, but never too high
Only going as high as he need fly
seeking the old path, if it is still there
or forging a new one, beyond compare.

22

For a few years now, I have told my family not to celebrate my birthday. And thankfully, they haven't. Most of the people at work didn't even know today was my birthday, and those that knew, know that I don't celebrate mine, though they think it odd.

The truth is, I don't see anything worth celebrating. I haven't done anything of note in the past year, and am now a year closer to the end of my life, with little or nothing to show for it. At least, I can be grateful that this is not like my last birthday, where I was feeling down, and at the beginning of embarking on probably the biggest mistake I've ever made in my life. That's all sorted now - it was painful and chastening, and cost me a lot, but I deserved all of it. Lesson totally learned - never, ever try to justify as good what you know in your heart to be bad - else prepare for a messy, ugly ending.

My thoughts today have been occupied by some very distinct, very different feelings. One is a wish to go back - just four years- and redo my life since then. I think of all the mistakes I've made since, some minor, some major, and of all the time I've wasted. I know its not going to happen, so I guess the feeling must be linked to some deep dissatisfaction with how I've run my life since. I don't feel as strongly about this as I did last year though. The second is a wish to see more, to do more, to be more that I already am. I am sure there is more to life than I have seen, and I want to spend some, if not all of the rest of my life, marvelling at the wonders of this created world. There has to be more to this life than my current routine allows me to see. The third is linked to the passing of a year - I am older, yes, but cannot with any conviction say that I am wiser. I am also not any more prepared for death than I was one year ago. I'm yet to sever all the ties that keep me bound to this world, most of which are debts to pay, be they material or spiritual. I am not hapy that I have let them build up, but the past cannot be undone, so I will deal with them the best I can instead, and try to pay them off before I am taken. The fourth is linked to the nature of plans and planning. When I was 17/18 I wrote a huge list of life goals and ambitions. One of them was to be married (!) at 22, and another was to have kids by 25. I can only laugh when I look at it now - men may make plans, but God is the best of planners. I have no idea what the future holds for me, but have full faith that if my plans don't work out as I intended, there is some greater good involved.

All is not gloomy today - I think I will bake a cake later on tonight. Who else can say they baked a cake on their birthday? Of course, I won't be doing it to celebrate - definitely not. I'll just be doing it to make sure my cooking skills aren't getting rusty. As you do. The fact that I'm doing this on my birthday is totally coincidental.

Honest.

Edit: No baking tray = no cake. Nevermind. Next year, maybe

10 Haikus VI

The previous 10

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I will follow you
into the dark, lead you out
I know the way back

I have, and have lost
don't know now what I want most.
I'll find out someday.

The future does call
with tasks in the horizon
never to be done

watch the fingers fly
and out of many efforts
A gem is revealed

under the blue sky
I see them smile; the first time.
A perfect moment

On my smallest shelf
they sit and stand side by side
books yet to be read

You'll be awesome
Don't worry about critics
go, shine like the sun

I'll give you my smile
The simplest gift I have now
To see you smile back

passing and movement
open defences with ease
score the perfect goal

I stand in water
knee-deep, my thoughts flow with it
waiting for a fish

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Usual disclaimer applies.

The next 10

Audit

An interesting post on momentum on a friends blog led me to reevaluate what I'm doing in my life currently, my present goals, and any progress being made towards them. I wrote down my goals for the year here, and now, two months in, seems to be as good a time as any to evaluate and progress, or lack of, made in the directions mapped out.

A cursory glance tells me that currently, I am only on track to hit my target in only 2 out of 5 areas. It could, of course, be worse, but that is no excuse, as the reason I picked so few goals in the first place was to be sure I could achieve them. The Mental/Intellectual part has been quite easy, it seems. I should have read between 5 and 9 books by now, and I would be quite surprised if I have not. I know for sure I have read more than 5. And have done a substantial chunk of the poetry listed. So all is good there.

Regarding creativity, whilst it would be true to say that I am on target, having "written everything that comes", the story would be quite different were I more specific with my targets. It is too easy to say that I have "written everything that comes", and I imagine that if I had set myself 50 poems, 10 works of fiction and 10 essays for the year, I might be saying something different right now. Nevertheless, I'm going to stick with the soft target for the remainder of this year, and consider a harder target next time, if indeed I am blessed with a next time, though it should be noted that as creativity comes in unquantifiable, unpredictable bursts, it is much more difficult to set a harder target anyway.

The remaining three have not seen much, if any, progress. Which is where the momentum post reinforces what I already knew, though needed reminding of. I think I must have read the most books on personal development, growth, personal finance and time management out of anyone I know, yet the be only person not to implement any of it. Pathetic.

I'm not making any progress now in three out of five targeted areas. Which means I'm not being consistent, or persistent in those three areas. Which means I need to be if I'm serious about meeting the goals I set. With two months gone, I can still make up for lost time. Maybe. Just maybe.

10 Haikus V

The Previous 10

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one day I'll wake up
and see what I should have seen
will it be too late?

I will fall again
and it wont be the last time
yet hope will remain

create something new
release something good today
into the wide world

I will serve you now
As one broken soul will do
for one like itself

theory and practice
watch me unify both now
or just attempt to

maybe tomorrow
I'll just do something awesome
or the day after

I sharpen my sword
to sharper than anything
then put it away

make a grand gesture
eloquent words, waving hands
all empty nothings

It's too beautiful.
he poured some of his soul in
By it I am haunted

there's a disconnect
Between what I want to do
and my actions now

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The next 10

[usual disclaimer applies ]

10 Haikus IV

The previous 10

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the shadow deepens,
Darkness falls, and I with it,
only one way now.

In secret I'll pray
what only One should, will, hear
Save me from myself

Purify thyself,
wash the sins of old away
only with God's help

pure, light, stunning, bright
everything is coated with white.
under snow's blanket.

The call spans the years:
Lift yourself from oppression
But do I heed it?

Stop messing about
you know as well as I do
this world is empty

I'll plant a tree here,
and see what nature will do
before coming back.

I flipped a coin there,
waiting not for head or tail,
turning as it fell

beauty in nature
manifested from the Lord
never once captured

Materialism rocks
Feeling sad or empty? Buy!
Quick fix for your soul

The next 10

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As always, don't read too much into them

Playing with words

Rules:

Make one word from two. The fist word is one syllable, the second is two, for a total of three. Both are nouns, the first being a common noun, and the second being the object of a verb, ending in -er.

The target is to combine and create words that evoke imagery of the epic, or the elemental, or the fantastic. I might use them later in a poem, as they should all pretty much follow the same rhyming pattern (noun-verb-er). Of course, the combinations are (or should be) interchangeable as well.

I'll be happy with 20. Some might not work as well as others though...

- Heartbreaker (clichéd, but meh)
- Kingmaker
- Stoneraiser
- Flagbearer (ha!)
- Windwaker (Thank you, Nintendo!)
- Soulhealer
- Icebreaker
- Stargazer
- Keymaster (technically incorrect, see below)
- Swordkeeper
- Darktamer
- Wellwisher
- Fatewriter
- Wordshaper
- Beasthunter
- Hopebringer
- Steelworker
- Mazewinner
- Gamechanger
- Timesplitter
- Mindreader
- Mapstealer
- Flamethrower
- Loveseeker
- Sunraiser

25!!

Words that will rhyme with the above, don't quite fit the (noun-verb-er) pattern:

- Darksabre
- Any combination that ends with -master, like keymaster above.

Technically, 25 x 25 = 625 possible combinations, but my guess is that roughly 15 out of every 25 of the first halves will be unsuitable for the second halves, which drops the figure to about 375 plausible combinations. All in all, plenty to play with.

Early Bird

This time last year, my sleeping habits were much better. Without fail, I would wake at 5am, pray, and start the day with a few hours of peace, during which I would study, read, or surf the web. Now I get up with barely enough minutes to pray in the morning and trudge back to bed almost immediately after.

I don't know what's wrong, but knowing that I was able to master sleeping habits last time makes me confident I will be able to do so again.

The rules:

- Always wake up at the same time everyday
- Go to sleep whenever you feel tired, even if it be 8:30 pm
- [Most Important] Cut out stuff like caffeine, choc, etc that can affect your mental state and sleeping patterns.

Should take a few weeks to acclimatise, but will be worth it.