...

I wear the ring, and keep the beard
I seek the calm, try not to harm
I stand to pray, will fast all day
I read the books, give alms away

Its all just fake, or so it feels
outward motion, turning some wheels
distracted mind, and hopeless soul
wondering why it feels not whole
simple answer, yet hard to take
you love this world, though it be fake
others let go - you haven't still
and wonder why your soul is ill

You know the cure, you know you do
It's no secret, I know it too
the world shines, beauty enveloped
on its own, each soul develops
uncounted ways, yet one end goal
with hope and love food for the soul.
Give all to love, live in His way,
reignite the spark in this mortal clay.

I'll wear the ring, and fast and pray,
and with a smile, meet each new day

A Parable on Particles

[Only because I decided a poem on this would not work. I might make one anyway later.]

There was one once, that was going one way. It saw another, coming the other way. One of three things happened.

– They noticed each other, but were too far away to experience the gravitational pull of the other, and so carried on their separate ways.
– They were close enough to be attracted by each other, yet too far away for it to be anything meaningful. Thus they both got diverted from their path and onto a slightly different trajectory, but nothing more. I have no idea if either of them thought about "what might have been".
– They were close enough to be attracted to each other, and close enough for it to be meaningful. There is a critical distance above which this is not the case, and the story ends up like the one above. In this case, below the critical distance, the got diverted off their original paths, and into circular paths with ever decreasing radii, until they finally collided into each other and coalesced into something greater than either was before. Either that, or they were too opposite, and so annihilated each other in a burst of energy that was felt for miles.

I described all three (technically four) possible outcomes, yet have no idea which will happen, as knowing the theory doesn't necessarily help one predict the result. That's where chaos theory comes in, and I leave...

The Challenge Revisited: Post Mortem

See the original challenge here, and the post mortem here.

See this challenge's opening post here.

As for the post mortem...there is a some to say, but not much. There is not, like there was last time, a huge list of accomplishments. Nor am I sure that I have progressed at all. Of course, in the absence of progression, it would be desirable to have remained at a constant level, but this I doubt I have done either.

So, I've dropped a level (or more) spiritually. I can't think of any improvement in manners, or any positive habit I have locked in over the past few months that can change my life for the better.

The harsh truth is that I was merely paying lip service to this tradition, and so it is only natural that I have nothing to show for it. It's hard to convey how upset I am with myself for letting this happen, and for wasting such a potentially useful, and powerful period of time, in which people change for the better.

But what's past it past, and I cannot change it, much as I would want to. The lesson learned from this round is as harsh as the truth that precedes it. I cannot take life as lightly as I have done, for that would just be foolish, as would be to make the same mistake twice. At least, from such a low point, the only way is up.

I'm definitely not going to waste the next round, should I be blessed enough to see another one.

What I Held...

I held a moment in my hand
into others it flowed
I sat there, with closed eye
yet saw them all go

I held a thread in my hand,
small part of great dress,
dress is gone, and she with it
leaving me in a mess

I held a ball in my hand.
and memories of past games
though I played so much
I recall no teammate's name

I held your gaze with mine
and met it all the way.
and in the quiet was said
all we wanted to say

I held a hand in my own.
that of a good friend
our conversations were odd
when our words did blend

I held a feeling in my hand
unbelievably clean and pure
I doubt I'll hold it again
Until I leave this worlds lure

TV Habits....

I'm aware that we watch too much TV. There was a time when I would just come home and turn the box on, and just sit there. It's engrossing, and allows you to turn off, and relax, but after a while, it begins to feel fake.

I've gradually cut and cut, and now I can say I'm down to only watching three series with regularity, and a few others with semi-regularity. I only watch House, Heroes, and Hustle. House normally is 24 episodes a season, each 45 minutes long. Heroes is pretty much the same, though it fluctuates. To err on the side of caution, I'll overestimate. And Hustle is 6 episodes a season, each one hour long.

By my reckoning, that makes a total of 42 hours (18 + 18 + 6) a year, which works out at less than one hour a week. I'm happy with this. I obviously still watch other stuff, like news, sport, educationals, and movies, and I know this probably doubles or trebles the figure, but I'm still happier with it.

One day, I'm sure that I'll have it down to the bare minimum (whatever that means), or nothing.

Of course, thats only any good if I put the time saved to good use....

3:92

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

In the Name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful

لَن تَنَالُواْ الْبِرَّ حَتَّى تُنفِقُواْ مِمَّا تُحِبُّونَ وَمَا تُنفِقُواْ مِن شَيْءٍ فَإِنَّ اللّهَ بِهِ عَلِيمٌ

Ye will not attain unto piety until ye spend of that which ye love. And whatsoever ye spend, Allah is Aware thereof. [3:92]

It is only the first part of the verse that I wish to focus on.

"Ye will not attain unto piety until ye spend of that which ye love..."

Is there something that I love, that I would find hard to give away in the name of God? Only one thing comes to mind. My laptop. Everything else that I own, I doubt I would have qualms in giving away. I have already given away my games consoles, and doubt I'd have trouble giving away my phone, or my iPod, or my camera, or my TV, or my DVDs, or my books, or my trinkets, or....hmmm. Looks like I don't have that much to give away anyway.

But the laptop. That would be tough.. but why? It is a mac, yes but I can't put this down to aesthetics - I'd have trouble giving up the iPod as well, were that the case. I guess, more than what it is, my connection is to what it has. And that's it. It has over 1,000 photos, 28 days worth of lectures, 5 days worth of podcasts and video lectures, my collected thoughts and half-finished projects and lists... it has a part of me. So I'm guessing that if I were to somehow backup all of this, I'd be more partial to give away my laptop. Shouldn't take more than 100GB, 200 to be sure. And then I'll be attachment free.

Or will I then be attached to the backup? And what of being so attached to a piece of yourself that you'd hesitate in giving it up for the sake of God?

God help me

A Nonsense Poem

Salutations, dear sweet princess,
or, if you wish, damsel in distress.
your darling prince cannot come
(a lazy day, alright for some)
not wishing to rise from his bed
so has sent me, in his stead
My armour does not shine, is not bright
can be called anything but white
With words and wisdom I have no skill
Strength and prowess I have less still
I was sent 'cause all who are better
are busy questing, to answer your letter
Here I am, yet if you wish to wait
which may or may not seal your fate
It's only proper he rescues you, I agree
but if you wish to leave now, come with me