Farewell

I was listening to a recitation of dua wida yesterday, and I wept. It started at the beginning of a particular passage, and I reflected later, that the Imam (as) describes what it feels like perfectly. The month of Ramadhan is going, and it really is a month of mercy. It has improved me, and to compare where I would have been headed were it not for the blessings of this month is not pretty. Not that I've made much progress, but I feel I have halted an negative slide, and the timing was perfect, another sign of the genius of my Lord.

It is going, and I wish it were not so. It will be harder to maintain the pathetic level that I am at after it goes. I intend to fast and pray more after it goes, but it won't be the same. The words of Imam Sajjad (as) in the dua saying farewell to the month say it better than I ever can. The following is the passage that touched me so...

Peace be upon thee,
O greatest month of God!
O festival of His friends!

Peace be upon thee,
O most noble of accompanying times!
O best of months in days and hours!

Peace be upon thee,
month in which
expectations come near
and good works are scattered about!

Peace be upon thee,
comrade
who is great in worth when found
and who torments through absence when lost,
anticipated friend
whose parting gives pain!

Peace be upon thee,
familiar
who brought comfort in coming,
thus making happy,
who left loneliness in going,
thus giving anguish!

Peace be upon thee,
neighbour in whom
hearts became tender
and sins became few!

Peace be upon thee,
helper who aided against Satan,
companion who made easy the paths of good-doing!

Peace be upon thee -
How many became freedmen of God within thee!
How happy those who observed the respect due to thee!

Peace be upon thee -
How many the sins thou erased!
How many the kinds of faults thou covered over!

Peace be upon thee -
How drawn out wert thou for the sinners!
How awesome wert thou in the hearts of the faithful!

Peace be upon thee,
month with which no days compete!

Peace be upon thee,
month which is peace in all affairs!

Peace be upon thee,
thou whose companionship is not disliked,
thou whose friendly mixing is not blamed!

Peace be upon thee,
just as thou hast entered upon us with blessings
and cleansed us of the defilement of offenses!

Peace be upon thee -
Thou art not bid farewell in annoyance
nor is thy fasting left in weariness!

Peace be upon thee,
object of seeking before thy time,
object of sorrow before thy passing!

Peace be upon thee -
How much evil was turned away from us through thee!
How much good flowed upon us because of thee!

Peace be upon thee
and upon the Night of Decree
which is better than a thousand months!190

Peace be upon thee -
How much we craved thee yesterday!
How intensely we shall yearn for thee tomorrow!

Peace be upon thee
and upon thy bounty
which has now been made unlawful to us
and upon thy blessings gone by
which have now been stripped away from us!

It goes without saying, though, that the second I felt proud, about being able to cry, the tears dried up. I still have a long way to go.