The ideal version of me
Is who I want to be
A mystical, ethereal soul
Who helps make others whole
He will have my eyes
Yet see things anew
He will have my ears
But hear things few
He will have my touch
And no sins accrue
He will have my tongue
But no lies construe
He will have my brain
Yet know more than I knew
He will have my heart
And feel things true
But most of all
The ideal version of me
Is completely free
For he has discovered the secret;
He has no sense of
...
"me"
6 years ago
Profound.
ReplyDeleteI honestly thought about what else I could write but I'm stuck for words. I think it's the same 'have to let it sink in' feeling as after I read "Hypocrisy" http://yahayder.blogspot.co.uk/2009/02/hypocrisy.html. But that still hasn't sunken in and it's been a while.
Awesome
Thank you. I don't think it's one of my best pieces, but khayr.
DeleteHypocrisy is the very first of my pieces, and so the one thing I both like and do not like about it is that it is so raw. But I guess it was necessary at the time.
I've been meaning to reply to this. I read a lot of the poetry pieces again and couldn't determine which one I think is of 'your best' (it just gets better and better!) I really do like a lot of them especially the haikus. With your stories, I didn't even have to think, the orange tree is my favourite! It's marvellous.
ReplyDeleteIt's nice to have some raw material in our collection, I think. Gives the collection a different texture (...this just gave me an idea).
I guess this is sort of a reply to your reply on New Pages (which I still, irresponsibly, haven't replied to yet as well :S). In terms of what I 'dislike'... I don't have a good enough reason on commenting on things I dislike other than different taste, to be honest. But really, I do like many of them and it would probably be annoying and a bit weird if I were to comment on even a fraction of them (or maybe I'm lazy, heh...).
edit:
ReplyDeleteSo I've officially read all the poems. I stand by my first thought - it gets better and better! I enjoyed Layers and The Perfect House (I think you wrote a story on something similar which I also thoroughly enjoyed).
Like a said before, if I start commenting on the ones I like (which I already kind of have), you won't hear the end of me, lol.
Lovely work, mashaAllah.
Salaams
Wow. Thank you for reading them, it does mean a lot to me. I very highly doubt that it does indeed get better, and I consider those two poems to be nothing really special, or indeed among my favourites, but I guess such is art, where different pieces will appeal to different people.
ReplyDeleteAgain, thank you for reading them. It's a small vanity for an author to know and hear that their work is liked.