I'm 21 today...
*sighs*
I'm not celebrating today. Thankfully, neither is my family. I don't feel the need to celebrate, and even if I did, there is nothing worth celebrating.
I feel like I've wasted the past year. I haven't grown much, and if I have, its not anything that is measurable. I keep on reflecting on the huge gap between what I could have done, and what I actually have done. It's not pretty. I feel like I'm wasting the life that is gifted to me. I don't honestly know why I'm still alive. I can only assume that I haven't done what I was meant to.
However, it's not all bad. I see the next challenges ahead. I know what I'm meant to be doing for the next few years. And I have some major plans for the easter holidays (watch this space). So whilst I look back with feelings of regret and shame, I look forward with hope, and a sense of nervous excitement...
Here's to my 22nd...
6 years ago
Happy Birthday!
ReplyDeleteI disagree with most of your post, there is something to celebrate! Allah [swt]has given you another year to serve him, another year to be with your family, another year to fulfill your dreams. Not everyone gets that..
You're also very lucky to have it coincide with the Birthday anniversaries of Imam Sadiq and the Prophet [S].
We tend to take some things for granted..and I think birthdays are one of them. Celebrating doesn't have to be the western idea, something small is just as effective..maybe doing a nadhr to Allah [swt] and getting something small..like a tray of sweets and sending it to the mosque or center.
Yes brother you should def do a nazar and a namaz a shukrana that you are alive for another year, which is another second, another day, another week, to get things right before the end, and anytime you are alive before your end is something to celebrate because there still remains a chance to reform yourself and be the person Imam Hujjah a.s. asks you to be...
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