On Grieving

Respected Scholars, ladies and gentlemen, brothers and sisters, Salaam Alaikum.

The chalismo, as we commemorate it, marks the end of the mourning period. However, though the period ends, the loss is still the loss. It hits you suddenly, in random, unexpected moments, and you know that in this life the loss is permanent. But, this is not a unique loss. Everyone here will have suffered the same; what we feel is not unique to us, though it feels like it at the time.

My grandmother was a very kind, wise, and caring person. I remember many things, but recently they have just merged into one. I remember games and stories when I was a child. I remember having to learn Gujarati and Katchi so that I could communicate with her better. I remember that before any journey I made, she would make sure that I had an Imam Zamin handkerchief on me. These small acts, and hundreds of others paint the picture of her personality.

She never told me, but other members of my family did, about her early life, stories of patience, and struggle, and strong faith, and determination. She taught me so much was when she was alive, and looking back, she is still teaching me, even though she is no longer with me now. For that, I truly am lucky. She has set me a fantastic example to follow, and if I get anywhere close then my life is a success.

On behalf of the family, I would like to ask any and all present to please forgive my grandmother if she has hurt you in anyway, and please inform us if she has any outstanding debts with yourselves.

I would also like to thank everyone, those who from the start came to offer condolences and share our grief, all the way to today to mark the end, some of whom will have travelled long distances to pay condolences. It is not easy to bear a loss like this, but the support from the community that we have received, in so many different ways, has been a great support. There are too many people to name individually, but from the bottom of my heart I appreciate it and genuinely offer my thanks. Thank you.

I am aware that it is not just one family marking the loss of a dearly beloved family member, but two. Therefore, before I leave, please join me in reciting a Sura Fateha for both the Marhumas.

Salawaat.

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This is the speech I gave today at the chalismo (40th Day) majlis of my grandmother. Please recite a Sura Fateha for her soul, and another for the souls of the deceased believers.