Muharram 1434

There's a metaphor in the book called Lubb al Lubab (Kernel of the Kernel). It goes something like this, modified a bit by me: (Please don't think I've read the whole book. I haven't. However, I'm still going to recommend it.).

Imagine a muddy/dirty glass of water. If it is in a calm place, not disturbed at all, eventually the dirt and stuff will begin to settle down. One may even be able to see through it. The very top layers of the water may even be regarded as clean. But if a little disturbance were to happen, then all the dirt will rise from the bottom, and the water will again show itself to be dirty. For the water to be completely pure, the gunk and junk needs to be extracted or filtered out.

Is this me? I'm worried that it is.

A little spiritual recharge in Muharram/Safar and the Months of Rajab/Shaban/Ramadhan, where I begin to be a bit more tranquil, more religious, more pious, more settled... but I haven't really worked on myself, and so all the improvements I make are merely surface improvements. Then I get a trial, be it minor or major, and my true colours surface, and it turns out I never really made as much gain as I thought I did...just that in the absence of trials, I allowed myself to believe I had made progress.

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Alhamdulillah, for the first time in nearly a decade, I will, inshaAllah, be commemorating Muharram as part of a community. Maybe even as part of two communities, if things work out my way. Imagine that. I never thought this would happen a year ago.

I need to make sure...I _HAVE_ to make sure, that this Muharram will be different. This blessing in particular should not be wasted. Muharram needs to stay with me for longer than it's physical days.

I guess, in the end, only time, and trials, will tell.

Ya Hussain (as)